Friday, October 22, 2010

Losing my direction.

With the recent events in my life, I am gradually losing that inspiration to inspire my students.  I no longer thrive the thrills and challenges that I am faced with when I try to educate these humble souls...those I hope that I made an impact in their lives, those I have guided to govern the country, to develop our nation or to build a lasting unified society.

My only desire as for now is to watch my children grow right before my eyes, to shed every tears along with them, to share their laughters and to feel their pain.  I do not want to miss even a millisecond of it, as the case with Iman, whose childhood barely comes to my recollection.  The only thing I remember about her is trying to teach her to count from 1 to 5 in sequence repeatedly although she keeps on missing number 5 and heading straight to 6.  That, is the only memory that I have of her childhood which is crystal clear.  

This enormous love I have for teaching is on its own making its way towards doomsville and the saddest thing is..I could not care a single bit.  I think I better move on to where my heart is set on which is where ever my children are. Therefore God, please grant us a home there in Ruwais as soon as possible!

6 comments:

The Tea Drinker said...

i guess i'm not the only one feeling rather out last night. hehe.

i did wake up wondering what in the world was i thinking. so hopefully u woke up feeling better.

Rosfida Abu Sufi said...

Hahah...hmm, I haven't reached that state yet. Still contemplating though..

Uncle Lee said...

Hi Rosfidah, I can imagine a mother's feelings and love for her children, to be with then, to watch them grow. And yes....be with them, they need you.

I have a friend, she left home to go overseas, left behind 3 very young kids with the father and MIL look after.
And the toughest experiences for her was, still is, to phone home and to hear youngest girl 5 years, crying she wants her, because having fever.

I cannot imagine what she goes thru everyday and yet.....she got her Masters 2 years ago, and very soon I have to address her as 'Doc' as she will be graduating with a Phd.
Have a nice day, Lee.

Rosfida Abu Sufi said...

Uncle Lee,
Pleasant having you dropping by! Your friend there indeed is a strong woman! If I could only have half as much as she has, I think I would be successful in my career.
It is painful to be apart from your loved ones...

Wan Sharif said...

Patience .. my lady, patience here you hear!.. Be sincere.. pray to HIM.. InsyaALLAH He will grant you your previous thrills you enjoyed and provide you with exhilarating challenges when you try to educate the students..

Rosfida Abu Sufi said...

Ayoh Wang,
Hmm..I know it is not good to complaint but at times I do feel that I better leave this profession to care for my own child rather than others' who fail to appreciate you. But then, yes, praying to Him to give me back that passion I once had..Insya-allah..