Tomorrow, at exactly 8.20 pm, would be the first week since my hubby left for Abu Dhabi. I am okay..coping with the chaos that has now occupied my life and if only I could extend time, I would change 24 hours to 35 hours so that I would have some space or intervals for me to breathe in before I go on to the next task, as compared to now; I almost have no time for myself because fatigue has become my loyal companion.
Knowing that my hubby does not read my blogs, I need to share this with whosoever thinks that the events in my life have some relevance to theirs. I must admit, it is not easy being alone..put aside sexual desire, companionship, or even needing that someone you turn to when the days had gone up against you, it is not being alone specifically when my children crave for their father's affection!!!
Could you stand to look at your son who sleeps beside a picture of his father which he printed so he could have his father by his side? What about your two year old who always hides behind the couch every time she hears a car passing by thinking it's her Daddy coming home and she is hiding to surprise him? And your 4 year old who seems to be fine only because she hasn't talked about her Daddy one bit since he left? Could you cope with that? To think that a week has already gone by, how am I to survive the coming months, which could lead up to almost a year?? I can cope with not having him when I need sex, I have another shoulder to cry on even if it is his I need the most, but can I replace a Daddy that a child is longing for? If only there was a manual that I could refer to, life would pretty be much easier for me..just turn to the index and check up what you need guidance on or things to troubleshoot..but there is no Life Manual for me!
Life isn't an easy path but what does not kill you will only make you stronger. And I hope, the absence of their Daddy will make my kids turn out to be tougher than life. Think on the bright side, it will only be for at least 6 months till our family reunites..