Doctor Khalid: Rose, how many children do you plan to have?
Me : To be frank, I have past my quota.
I only want 2, a boy and a girl.
Doctor Khalid: So, how are you accepting this pregnancy?
Me : With open arms.
Doctor Khalid: Rose, God gave you another child when you only wanted 2.
God has entrusted you with this child, think about it.
That was the conversation I had with my Obgyn during one of the routine pregnancy check-ups. Yeah, I never wanted a third especially one that came so soon ( to me lah..Iman was 1 year +) after delivering my second and with my PCOS, it never dawned on to me to protect myself against pregnancy since I was equipped with a repellent for it. When I learnt that I was pregnant for the third time, I was in denial. It took 4 pregnancy test kits and 3 check-ups at 2 different doctors for the fact to digest. I wasn't planning a third, in fact, I never wanted a third. We haven't started with any fertility treatments or even decided to go for one, yet, there she was planted in my womb. So, looking back at how I dealt my 3rd pregnancy with mortification, the conversation I had was an eye-opener.
Sometimes, your life would take a detour against your will, like how mine did. Who would ever thought of me as a mother of three after gruelling experiences with my first? I never did myself. But then, the minute I set eyes on my Khalida for the first time, I missed her almost instantly when they took her away to be cleaned. Looking at my Khalida's face when she eats, when she sleeps or when she dances, I know that she is there to make me stronger. With all her health issues, I think she is my test from God and I am embracing every difficult moments with nothing more than undying love.
So yes, Dr. Khalid..God indeed had something in store for me. Through her, he has taught me the meaning of patience and shown me how it is to love unconditionally.
Nur Khalida Irina
This is nothing but my plain ramblings for today.