Friday, April 2, 2010

I Really Appreciate It!

I am one who is open to criticism, I believe that I am although some may say I am not. Well, if I am damn pissed and you criticize me and tell me where I am wrong, hell yeah...I would definitely spit fire!! But on the other hand, if I have mellowed down and you feel you need to satisfy your hunger to make me feel bloody awful, then be my guest, but make sure that it is a constructive one.

I had been saying s**t and d**n for almost ten times last night thinking that it was okay and not so harsh until an older friend of mind boldly told me that I swore a lot which made me feel ashamed of myself and I felt more ashamed when another friend retorted "yeah..you do!"   I didn't think that those two words were too big of a deal, hence my saying them. However, as individuals we might not share the same beliefs.  I was hurt a bit because if it had bothered some people,why didn't they dare to tell me frankly rather than to keep it swelling inside.  If they can repeatedly make fun of me wearing my name tag religiously,which I think wearing it is a professional act and not one that should be made into a subject of humor, then they should ought to have the decency to tell me off when I am doing something wrong!! 

Truthfully, I sometimes think that the way I conduct myself is okay and how I speak or tell stories are acceptable from the intonation to the choice of words because the listeners who I call friends often seem fine but maybe they are just good at putting up with me in the name of tolerance.  I don't need that...tolerance.. every single time, what I need is guidance;  some light to make me someone better. You can't possibly notice at all times that you have done or said something wrong because we perceive things differently and what good does it make if you talk behind my back and allow me to repeat my mistakes and granting me titles like "Biggest Backstabber of the Millennium", "Mulut Laser" when all that you could have done is to tell me straight to my face what bothers you?

Therefore, I have Kak Faridah to thank for her kind act last night.  If it not were for her, I would still be thinking that everyone could accept to hear the words s**t and/or d**n.  And do I resent her for that? Not a tiny bit..in fact just this morning we were having big heartful laughs.  

No offence, this is my plain ramblings for today.

2 comments:

Fely said...

Yes, its a problem with my God given mouth too! Now that we have children, and because I am around them 24 hours a day, I have to modify them to shhhhhh.......sugar! or cr........crayon! instead of shit and crap!
Then the other day we were watching something on tell and Nia heard the f word and she's been religiously repeating them since then! Sigh! Can't win! Hahahah

Doria Robert Kawen said...

that's true fely. Declan asked me what does 'f**k you' mean..he heard from a movie..and I was like..well..speechless for a while as my brain was working for the answer.
Told him it's a bad thing to say and that God will come and rip his tongue if he ever says the word.
Hah!!