Thursday, October 8, 2009

Just Hold Your Head Up High!!!

A student of mine came to me with big red puffy eyes due to crying for at least 5 hours.  The poor soul was back stabbed by her own dorm mate who happened to be her own best friend who ransacked her unlocked wardrobe and found her diary that contained all these juicy details about the other dorm mates whom she had been commenting  about.  So, this so called best friend of hers decided to let all the other girls read her diary and now, they are all against her.

That is very typical of the human be so close to one person but behind it all, we talk rubbish and nonsense about the people we are close to.  I think this is all because, nobody is perfect! It's human nature to express our feeling about the imperfections of others be it about their physiques or even the way they bring themselves because we each have our own preferences in the human package.

I can surely remember hurting friends' feeling with my remarks because at that time I thought it was okay to speak my mind, I know it is still okay, but now I do it more inconspicuously so the truth doesn't hit them hard in their face.  People hated me a lot those days, and for whatever  reasons they had, I have learnt to accept it! It's their opinion right and truth to be told, I may have had contributed to the fact for them to dislike me.  I won't put any blame on them although it deeply hurts until this day  but, while they said so many things about me, and my wrongdoings, did they sincerely think that it was a noble act when they made a joke out of me when I first started to wear the veil on my head to become a better Muslim?  When I had fallen out with a girl who I loved more than my own sister,who I called a sister,  who I shared my tears with, my happiness with, did I bear any grudges? A bit..but then it was me to call her up and seek for forgiveness but did we get along again? No, she ignored the SMS that I sent to her in good faith. Do I hate her for that? NOPE. We all have our own minds..don't we?

We all have the freedom of speech.  What our mind thinks is entirely up to us especially when it concerns about what and how we feel although it might be offensive or wrong to certain people. However, when one may  disagree to your opinion, would that be a valid reason to make us a foe of theirs and to become ostracised? And  has it ever occurred to us that while we may portray this holier than thou attitude, we might have somewhere or sometime in our life offended others intentionally or not?  Everybody offends everybody, though it might not be through their speech, but do remember that there exists  this unspoken language called the body language.  So, I try to teach myself to be tolerant of others even if they do not tolerate me.  Life is too short to make enemies out of friends..I think..No one has to agree with me..

The following is an excerpt of a poem I gave to that student.  Hope she will have her head held high up now. 

"IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:"

Nes, learn from your mistakes and from others' too..(don't keep a diary, just blog!)


Fely said...

i've always liked you!! you did speak your mind a lot but i've always liked you!

Rosfida Abu Sufi said...

Thanks Fely, u were always one of the the open minded ones that I knew. Thank u for accepting me the way I am.

Anonymous said...

you were the biggest backstabber back then.
and why we laughed? how can one not laugh when you put on a veil on a tacky-coloured set of wig showing???
and please spare us with the "become-a-better-muslim" claim. you effing shaved you head off and went clubbing regularly.. san veil of course.